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Texte haioase
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Fuck is good fuck is funny.
All the people fuck for money.
If you think fuck is funny fuck yourself and save the money
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Trimisa de printesik_mik pe 10 octombrie 2007 13:36
| 3144 afisari
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A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that Are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, Dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your mother fucking snacks, because you are married now and you aren't fucking going anywhere!!
Got it, "Asshole?"
....and, they lived happily ever after.
Now, isn't that a sweet story?
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Trimisa de cat pe 27 septembrie 2007 12:12
| 2763 afisari
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The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's? Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.Ward.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommended that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him....
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Trimisa de cat pe 24 iulie 2007 12:54
| 2702 afisari
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A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him:
- Dude, How come people consider me a nuisance, and you a pet? How come people pay money to have you, while they are trying to kill me? How come you are considered a cute little animal, while I am considered creepy and disgusting? How come you live in a warm home, and I have to stay in the sewer? So the hamster answered:
- It's branding, dude!
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Trimisa de ioana pe 11 iulie 2007 13:40
| 2767 afisari
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